A Royal Christmas Engagement (2020)

Hey, look. I'm not going to sugarcoat it. I have had a busy err... half of the year this year to be honest. My job changed which meant more responsibility but more travel and more days spent travelling to Head Office. I brought a house and am in the process of having it done up / refurbing it with my partner on evenings and weekends, and as a result of both those factors my creative outlets have had to take a back seat. I also used to be a casual photographer and blogger but that has well and truly been put on an unintended hiatus this year and I haven't shot anything or blogged about anything really since like June... I guess what I'm trying to say is: I've been busy. And as a result haven't really watched or covered films on a regular weekly basis like I have been able to in the past. But I'm not planning on giving up on all of this and shelving it just yet because it's Christmas. And with Christmas comes an absolute dearth of completely bollocks movies. Some of them new, some of them not, but most of them have a number of things in common chiefly of which is usually to try and steal your hard earned money from you with as little effort and energy as possible. I went looking for the worst, most vacuous drivel I could physically get access to without paying for it and, I'll be honest, I think I've smashed it out the park with this one. A Royal Christmas Engagement from 2020, a "Teresa Entertainment" (?) movie centred around an Advertising Executive who falls in love with a Prince disguised as a Consultant whilst he goes undercover as a "commoner". Yeah it sounds fucking dreadful right? But this is just the kind of shit that this blog is built for. Just hook it up to my veins already, let's fucking go.

A "remarkable opportunity" finds it's way to Marketing Executive Lauren (Paige Bach) after she he is sent by her boss to pick up the marketing contract for "L'Amour Chocolates" but with the help of an International Consultant: Paul Moreton... Switch to one British Prince Edward (James Nitti) who moans to his brother and fellow Prince, that having literally every need he could ever possibly conceive catered for at the drop of hat, is wearing thin for him and he just wants to do something meaningful with his life. He ends up trading places with his brother to attend to the Marketing Consultant role in America whilst his brother stays at home, despite royal objection. Her Majesty does dispatch one Patrick (Louie Chapman) to, well low key spy on Prince Edward really... before he leaves the following morning for America. Lauren immediately runs into some hostilities when colleague and rival Daria (Samantha Dawson) claims she should have been given the chocolate project and Lauren and Paul/Prince Edward don't exactly hit it off straight away with Lauren believing she doesn't need the help of a Consultant and His Royal Highness, seemingly having never spoken to actual people in his whole life, doing an excellent job of coming across as condescending and snobby despite his intentions sort of being in the right place, which leads to Lauren basically walking off and leaving him standing. Meanwhile Top Royal Spy, Patrick, blows his cover almost immediately when he gets found out by the Prince, and the pair make a deal that so long as he gives the Prince some space, Patrick will get great feedback to Her Royal Highness. The following Day, Lauren announces that she's bailing on attending an appointment to go over the marketing pitch to travel back to her family home and participate in Children's Day for Christmas with her parents, after explaining it to Paul and sarcastically inviting him along Paul agrees, much to Lauren's abject horror. Although after the long drive to Lauren's parents the pair at least appear to be developing something that can be loosely described as a friendship and when Paul flounders helplessly in front of Lauren's parents to pretend he has a normal, average, boring life he ends up embarrassing Lauren by contrasting her against some of the cold, spoilt Princesses he knows after her Dad refers to her as Princess, totally misreading the room. After returning from the trip Patrick warns the Prince that "it" - as in the developing friendship with him and Lauren will only end badly, and the Prince confesses he feels like giving "it" - his Royal duties, status e.t.c all up. And after returning to work following the weekend Lauren learns that the chocolate company want to bring their advertising pitch forward with Lauren basically having done zero work on it up until this moment... but still refuses to accept help from Paul. Then... for some reason... it is the evening and Patrick walks into the office looking for Paul / the Prince, only to attract the attention of Daria who ends up giving Patrick her number... ? And with her reputation on the line, Lauren ends up caving to a degree when she and Paul end up going for a meal at Lauren's favourite restaurant where the Prince starts putting his finest moves on her in order to woe her, which, to be honest just seems to make Lauren look and feel uncomfortable... Whilst, after reporting back to the office, the girls there all insist to Lauren that she needs to make the first move. Lauren and Paul hatch a plan to do a little active market research themselves, by securing a whole bunch of chocolate samples and handing them out at a carol singing event back in Lauren's hometown, and after making the journey down Lauren's parents begin to detect that there is maybe something there between the pair that extends beyond a professional relationship... And aforementioned market research exercise goes incredibly well with Paul almost confessing to Lauren about how he really feels before they are interrupted by the local press trying to snap their photo. After the car journey home, Lauren confesses to Paul that she couldn't have done "any of this" without him and the pair almost kiss before coming to their senses. Instead, Paul just wishes Lauren the best of luck for the big presentation tomorrow and the pair part company. Lauren predictably nails the presentation with a albeit slightly risky overconfident, borderline insulting strategy that I swear literally only works in these kind of movies... and after returning to celebrate and break the news to Paul the pair are overjoyed and Lauren invites Paul out on a date at a celebratory drinks later that evening. Despite Paul's reservations, concerned that with the press being there his real identity might be exposed, he agrees anyway, but after Lauren leaves, the company Receptionist; Chelsea (Mariah Robinson) hands Paul a newspaper which clearly shows him referred to as Prince Edward in a photograph with Lauren... Before he can even catch Lauren on her own to break the news Lauren confronts him first, after overhearing his conversation. Paul... well Prince Edward as I guess he's better known now is full of apologies and excuses, with Lauren feeling lied to, and she doesn't take the news very well, storming away from the Prince feeling hurt that he hasn't been completely honest with her. On the eve of the meal, as Chelsea tries to talk some sense into Lauren and convince her to go back to Prince Edward, he learns the news that his appearance in the press made frontpage news back home and that the Royal Family are "not best pleased" - which if you aren't British is code for downright fucking outraged. Patrick announces that they are to return immediately on a 11pm flight but Prince Edward resists, wishing to give up on his old Royal life and instead pursue what he has built in America. He makes the decision to attend the drinks anyway with Patrick in tow, where Lauren, with Chelsea in tow gets a pep talk from Daria for... some reason?... which convinces her to maybe forgive Prince Edward and give things a second chance. Conveniently arriving on the scene cue one Prince Edward, but despite trying to apologise and explain things Lauren still maintains a hostile composure and telling Lauren that he can either take the flight or Lauren can tell him not to go, Prince Edward turns to leave but - of course - Lauren finally comes to her senses... I guess... and asks the Prince not to leave before they kiss and get a round of applause from the entire party. How embarrassing! In the closing scenes we learn that Prince Edward chooses to have Christmas with Lauren's parents and the pair seemingly end up getting married.

I don't know, I couldn't hate this one to be honest. It wasn't ridiculously awful and to be fair I actually quite enjoyed the acting from the 2 main leads. Their chemistry was at times a little bit awkward and painful... but it wasn't - by the purest definition; bad. It was a very predictable, very safe, very vanilla Christmas movie and not the most action filled 1 hour 20 odd minutes I've ever watched... but I wouldn't say it was necessarily unenjoyable? It was fine, it was ok. It was very bland, but it was ok.

As mentioned I thought that both leads were decent; Paige Bach as Lauren and James Nitti as Edward and although at times their characters were a little bit one dimensional I at least felt like they did a decent job in their portrayal, which as a result makes the movie that little bit more easier to watch. The chemistry between the pair is obviously what the movie lives or dies on and whilst it did feel a bit awkward at times, which I guess was kind of the point, they were otherwise not too bad together. I've seen better but I have seen a whole lot worse. Here, it was just.. ok. It was just fine.

And sticking with some positives I thought the production work was pretty decent. This was a Made for TV movie but it had all the effort and attention of a genuine cinematic movie. There was some pretty decent camera work and scene framing to keep the movie interesting and appealing to watch and the overall production felt much more polished and slick. Some of the musical interludes felt a little cheap but I'm prepared to let that slide a little bit because I don't feel like it really harmed the overall aesthetic of the movie. For a low budget, TV movie it felt much more beyond the sum of it's parts and it was... wow err... impressive I think? But yeah, all that effort on what was a cheap, disposable Christmas movie.

And yeah, here's where I turn nasty because this was, in essence just a cheap, disposable Christmas movie, intended to be aired once or twice, or 5 times a week or whatever to fill a gap with some festive themed content and leave absolutely fuck all impression on whoever watches it. That is my brutal interpretation of it anyway at least and in that regard I guess it succeeded.... it's a very predictable "and they all lived happy ever after" kind of plot development. Fuck the movie even says that exact line at the fucking end of it! And everything is kept very safe and adhering to the correct tropes: of course they end up falling for each other after being forced together, of course they end up falling out and of course they end up making it up at the end. It goes through the cliché checklist nicely and ticks each one off, but - and I've said this about other genre films before now - I guess that is what you want out of these kind of movies and it's what you're here for, but I can't help but feel it would be nice to see something refreshing and different for a change.

But yes. Apart from being completely devoid of any independent and creative direction, and despite the chemistry between the 2 leads getting a bit questionable in spots this was otherwise a mostly decent and mostly fine movie. I just don't really feel like it accomplishes much other than to fill a gap with some loosely defined Christmas themed viewing and I hardly feel like it was ever going to make a challenge at any awards ceremonies that might have been on the horizon. But if the design brief was to make a Christmas TV Movie, then it accomplishes that with a good degree of polish and attention to detail to the extent that it can come and go without ever making too much of an impression on you really. I didn't feel bored with it at any point though, or lose interest and trust me, when it comes to Romance films they are pretty far down my list of movies I like to watch so if it managed to hold my interest it at least must be decent enough!

But yeah I thought Paige Bach and James Nitti were both decent and it's clear they put the effort in, and the storyline is completely what you expect going in so it's safe and comfortable. And I feel being too overly critical would just be cruel really because it's just a simple little Christmas movie. So yeah this was enjoyable enough and completely inoffensive, and completely accomplishes it's intention and purpose. And I feel like expecting any more out of it is just missing the point really. Do I recommend you watch it this holiday season? Well... err yeah if you like? But don't feel like you have to? You could do worse? 3 out 5. Merry Christmas.