John Travolta. Robin Williams. Seth Green. How could you possibly fuck this up? Well apparently they did, because it's Disney Week again this week and one movie that inconspicuously found it's way onto my Disney+ watch list is: Old Dogs, a 2009 comedy that was savagely eviscerated by critics staring all three of those aforementioned outstanding, critically acclaimed Actors, and if you don't think Seth Green is an outstanding, critically acclaimed Actor, go and watch all the Austin Powers Movies, and Party Monster, then come back to me and talk about how you were wrong.
Three minutes into the film and Robin Williams kicks an inflatable football into the face of a small child and I corpsed because I am a bad person. Dan Rayburn (Robin Williams), Charlie Reed (John Travolta) and Craig White (Seth Green) just get done almost closing a sports marketing deal with a Japanese firm when Vicki Greer (Kelly Preston), an estranged one night marriage from Dan's past contacts him out of the blue. One horrendous fake tan episode later, Dan and Vicki meet for the most awkward dinner I think I've ever watched... where Vicki reveals that not only is she going to prison for 2 weeks, but also that Dan is a father... to twins... Zach (Connor Rayburn) and Emily (Ella Bleu Travolta). One horrendous fake tan removal later Dan immediately makes a great first impression by knocking out Vicki's best friend with the boot lid of his car... With nobody left to look after the kids whilst Vicki is away Dan volunteers himself to take care of them and ropes in Charlie to give him a hand, temporarily moving him and the kids into Charlie's place. Crossing the first thing off the "dad list" Dan takes the kids camping which goes terribly when a game of ultimate frisbee gets out of hand and the pair get trampled, and after taking pills which unbeknownst to the pair had been all mixed up by the kids, both Dan and Charlie suffer extreme side effects and struggle to stay composed - Dan at a Golf game with the Japanese investors, and Charlie at a date. After unintentionally upsetting Zach, Dan worries that he is completely failing as a Dad, and Charlie, taking pity on him offers to help him to connect better with his kids taking him to see his friend; Jimmy Lunchbox (Bernie Mac) who - using a suit that he designs turns Dan into a literal human puppet - controlled by Charlie. Whilst Dan entertains his daughter - dressed as a king being controlled by Charlie... Zach hijacks a online conference meeting replying to questions in place as Dan which ironically becomes the moment that clinches the deal. When Craig is sent to Tokyo to become the company liaison but vanishes into the night; the Japanese company requests that both Charlie and Dan move to Tokyo or the deal is off. But after breaking the news to Vicki and the kids, Dan tanks a meeting in Japan with the company because he feels guilty and the deal falls apart. Desperate to make it up to the kids, Dan, Charlie and Craig end up breaking into the zoo where the kids birthday party is being held and Dan borrows a jet pack to try and be the Superhero his kids wanted, only to end up crashing in a lake... but eventually reconciling with Vicki and bringing them together as a family finally.
Robin Williams is obviously a cinematic treasure and a legend, you don't need me to tell you that. I've seen him in a handful of movies but for me; Good Morning Vietnam was his best. He's still got the same magic here that he brings to every film. He's just such an easily likeable guy and it shines through in his character here; he just wants to be the best dad he can be for his kids and he tries to make them laugh, tries to get everything right and it's when he's at his most honest, most sincere that the kids and Vicki like him the most. This was never going to be an Oscar winning film but he still puts 110% into his role and you can't do anything but respect him for that.
The chemistry between Robin Williams and John Travolta was also, surprisingly, really great. I thought there might be a real distinct difference between the 2 given Travolta's back catalogue but it actually works really well and you can easily be bought into the relationship the 2 characters have on screen and will be fully convinced that they go far back as friends and by how long they've known each other. It all just worked really well. I haven't seen John Travolta in many... or any... comedies but he also put in a really good performance here and was great as the aging bachelor in denial.
This movie whilst largely a pretty above average affair, wasn't without it's faults though and the one major flaw for me, that really damages the picture, is that the plot development doesn't really go anywhere. The film spends a lot of the time just meandering around; the mischief the kids get up to and the effects it has on Dan and Charlie is never really fleshed out: you get cause - effect and that's it. It's not developed beyond there. There's re-occurring references and some continuity to a degree, but that's it. Apart from a couple of scenes, you could probably cut a good 45 minutes of this movie and it wouldn't be damaged by it.
The second major execution blow was in the trite, predictability of the storyline. I knew about 15 minutes into the film how it was going to play out, and I bet you could probably have a good guess yourself just from reading the plot synopsis. So yes, it played out exactly how you expect: Robin Williams character gets his first taste of being a dad, a difficult decision comes up and he has to choose between his kids or the decision, he chooses the decision, regrets it, goes back. The end. Not exactly breaking new ground, or pushing the envelope. And if you've seen a handful of these movies you can pretty much figure out how it's going to go along the way, which is fine I guess if it's at least made exciting and interesting and this movie was amusing yes, but exciting? Interesting? Not so much.
The comedy also came in ebbs and flows. This isn't a laugh out loud slapstick comedy, the kids are not mischievous kids as such, it's just them being kids and doing kids stuff that causes mischief but it's not outrageous mischief. There were moments that got a laugh out loud from me (like an inflatable football to the face) but they were sprinkled throughout the movie and few and far between. It was funny, yes, but it wasn't the funniest movie I ever watched, and even parts that were supposed to be gags were just a little bit lukewarm for me.
Not that I really wanted the film to go all out ridiculous because it just wouldn't have worked and it would have fallen apart, but it was just... a bit funny. And not; really funny. Robin Williams is obviously outstanding and John Travolta is really good too. Seth Green isn't really in the film enough to have any significant impact on it as a picture, although he does chip in with a few bits at the beginning and the end and there is a slightly amusing bit in the close of the movie with him and a gorilla.
Other than those major Achilles Heel blows, the movie is otherwise produced perfectly to the standard expected, no dodgy cinematography, questionable casting, questionable acting, unusual soundtrack choices, the regular stuff I see in my movies here, and I can't really pick fault with anything in that area, it's just a shame that such an otherwise perfectly competent movie was really let down by a sub-par script when you have two powerhouse actors like Williams and Travolta onboard. There wasn't even anything wrong with the dialogue - it was all fine, but it just didn't go anywhere!
For what it's worth I enjoyed this movie and it made me occasionally laugh. But anything with Robin Williams in is always worth a watch, even when it's like this and it doesn't really go anywhere and you get the predictable ending you knew you were going to get going in, it will still be enjoyable. It just had that potential to maybe go a little bit beyond that and go beyond being a 'paint by numbers' family comedy, but it ultimately wasn't and it won't change your life by watching it. But it's maybe worth a watch anyway if you're a Robin Williams fan. 2 out of 5.
